Stay Focused

Stay focused. Simple enough statement. Doesn’t matter what’s going on in your life or your world. Stay focused and work the problem. Stay focused on one thing at a time. Don’t worry about the things that you cannot change. Work on the things that you can. Everything else will find a way to be solved. Don’t allow your worries, battles, force you to stop. Don’t question yourself. What you are capable of doing. Because you know who you are, what you need, what you want, your deepest desire. Use it! Find that thing that you believe in and make it happen.

Shade

Friendship Isn’t What Its Cracked Up To Be

I don’t even know why thoughts like this comes into my head. But
the funny thing about my houses. Whenever its been past time for me to move out
of one. I see a black spider. Big one, small one or

medium. Most importantly is that I see them. I see them once.
Months later when I haven’t seen one in a minute, out of no where I see one
again. Which is a design and I take it God’s way along with all of the other
signs.

That’s its time for me to be out. Well I seen one last night. I
saw him in the bathroom and before I went to bed, he graced my presents again.
Granddaddy’s I normally pick up and release back outside my door to live on.

The dark black ones have bitten me in my sleep so many times
left these painful marks I have to burst in order for me to relax and heal. Well
I know you are probably wondering why I am telling you my little secret about
spiders and when its time for me to move. As I fell into a nap earlier. It
occurred to me that I haven’t been very lucky in the best friend department
unless you count God and my mother. Even though I have talked to a lot of people
and some will even say very graphic conversations that made then feel like they
had learned everything there was to learn about me.

It would shock most of these people that I haven’t even talked
about or trusted them enough with half of what I chat and talk, and laugh with
my mother about. She’s it. All that’s on earth that I have really told my inner
most secret’s too. I am saying this because we were having one of those talks
last night. I don’t know if it was based on a movie we were watching. Or just
conversation because even though we have so much entertainment at our
disposable. Me and my mother can sit and talk not be bored for hours at a time,
just enjoying each other company.

Someone how we got on the subject of friendship and I admitted
to her the same thing I am admitting to now, that  have never told any one, male
friends that’s been my buddies for a very long or short time. Girlfriends, that
I hung out with or chatted up briefly. Not even the ones from high school. No
the cousin I prayed or for years to come back only, to live hell when it came to
her being back into my at the same time I decided to end things and take my mom
and an ex’s advise she decided to help put me out my misery by moving. None of
these people have ever heard a thing about my inner most. Yet, my mom had. There
is no subject we haven’t talked about including sex. lmao. Any who, we both
struck a nerve with each other last night we we said that you can’t try and do
business with friends of family anymore.

About three months ago, maybe a little more back, I called
myself asking a new friend about his skills. Just wanted to test him out and see
what he could do. I have to admit, at the end of it, he could do some things I
expect, but there was also some things he couldn’t do which I did expect. Any who
the point me I wanted to test the new brother out and see if he could at least
do some basics so we could go into some deals together. Business to business
owner basically. He do his part, I do my part I had a couple other people on tap
I wanted to come in and do there own thing. Only for us al the break bread on
contracts and work together. But the day I realized that his person tried to
cheat me for work I could have either done myself in no time. Or paid little to
nothing for someone else to do. I knew right then I couldn’t do any more
business with this person. I went head and did the work needed myself. Racked my
money, when I had the funds he didn’t deserve but was seeking and I’d given my
word I would pay him for. I paid him and found out at the end it was all about
him using me for some chump change and moving on. Which was fine by me.


I tell
you this story to tell you this. If you are anything like, me interested in doing
some things with someone never tell them your thoughts or business ideas. Get a
nondisclosure agreement going before you go there. The real reason I got salty
with this dude wasn’t even him over charging for something that wasn’t worth it.
Why he was working on this project for me, I laid down some other things. Never
went into deep details thank God, just some tidbits to see if he would be
interested. Only for him to show up the scene a couple weeks later talking about
he talked to someone else about it. I’m like this is a business. I am a Business
Consultant, I get paid to sale ideas. I get paid to bring the right people to
help get projects off of its feet and get it popping to make money. You talked
to some undisclosed party about one of the ideas I am thinking about
implementing and even though there’s no papers on it as of yet. Its one of my
baby’s that you think is good to be sharing with others, and people that I don’t
know. That’s the day I decided that I wouldn’t work with him, or tell anyone
else I am thinking of working anything else until those contracts are on lock.
Ungrateful people that you try and help that claim they want a come up. At the
end of the day even if its someone you consider a friend. It’s a license for
them to come up and stab you in the back. Sometimes friendship isn’t what its
cracked up to be.

Love,

Shade