Giving Up On Family Part 3

All that being said and done. Being my family history and the ending to it. I have my mom. But even if I didn’t. God forbid. I love myself. I love myself enough to know that you deserve more. From anyone. Friends. Family. Your Job. Your Business. Whatever is a top priority in your life. If someone is taking you for granted. Using you. Abusing. Talking out of the side of their face all slick to you. If every time someone calls or text you. You feel sick thinking about what they have to say to you next. Its time to end this game. The party is over. Cut this off, before something reckless happens. Because it can hurt you, mentally, emotionally and physically. Rock you to your very core, and make you ask yourself int he end. How did I get here? How did I allow these people or this person, to get me talking like this. Actually like this. Feeling like this. This cousin I mentioned in part 2. She was poison in my life. I was track doing big things before she came back into my life. Even though I was kind of at my lowest. Changed had hit me and my family back to back before our reconnection. I was still spiritual in a place. I almost fell from because of this person..

Kind of like they call it ” Falling From Grace”. Every time in the three years we talked. God kept saying the same thing when we were on good term ” Light And Talk Can Live In The Same House”. It was only while we talked daily that he’d say this to me. I wondered why. I mean, I knew she wasn’t a good person the way she was living her life. She had a different man in her bed at all times of the day and night that she barely knew. Starting when I began talking to her, her daughter was 6 years old. Yet she had random’s coming in at 2 am. Just because she had a dog. She thought this kind of behavior was normal. One of her quotes to me once was ” I am going to live my young life when I am young. So I won’t be like this old ass women trying to make up for lost times in there 30s, 40s and 50s. “Just because she was a success in college and working that’s all that she felt she needed to do, as a adult. While me, when I got connected with her was attending Church every week. Reading the word of God daily. I was helping with the homeless. I was giving back as much as I took from the world and focused on business and making money. My family fell off when I was 16 years. But we were fighting ourselves back to what we were used to. But just like in the bible we had our 40 years wilderness experience. As of 2013 after a used tragedy, we have slowly but surely fought our way back. Every year things becoming better and better. Yet God made sure, when we connected I was at one of my lowest peaks. He wanted me to see how she’d treat me, when I didn’t have. That’s she wouldn’t be their when it got better. My point to all of this is. Sometimes God takes people out of your life for a reason and a purpose. They could be stunting your blessings. He could be trying to keep that person or those people from taking the good things from you. That bad ass man that’s more rotten then hell it self could be keeping a great man out of your life. Maybe you can get along with this person because they are poison. I was rocked to the core and going through the whole year of 2013. I mean I was flooded out of my home. Which I needed to get out of and that was God’s way of making that happen. Then after the last straw of that cousin throwing my family’s food out, right after a flood, a whole year of not sleeping. I got my GED. Went independent a year later as far as work. Grabbed two college diploma’s and before you know it, I will be placing a down payment and paying off my first home.  I’m a self starter if you didn’t know let me tell you, I am Ms. Handle It! All of that happened because I let go of both sides of where I come from. Because they were cancer that didn’t lift a finger to help. Or lifted a finger to cause more pain. I am holding on to the one good family member I have living. She gets to enjoy the benefits of my labor. Not some rotten, ungrateful rude, disrespectful person that’s walking around with no soul!

Let them go. Cry the tears. The pain and the tears will help you grow and brings in blessings.

Stay Focused

Stay focused. Simple enough statement. Doesn’t matter what’s going on in your life or your world. Stay focused and work the problem. Stay focused on one thing at a time. Don’t worry about the things that you cannot change. Work on the things that you can. Everything else will find a way to be solved. Don’t allow your worries, battles, force you to stop. Don’t question yourself. What you are capable of doing. Because you know who you are, what you need, what you want, your deepest desire. Use it! Find that thing that you believe in and make it happen.

Shade

Never Try And Help People That Don’t Want To Be Helped

Have just had one of the craziest days of my life. I woke up early looking forward to some boxes after weeks since the last time. Looked forward to getting my grocery’s. To getting a big bag of chocolate for me and my family to share. After that I ordered a pizza I’ve never tasted before and some garlic knots. Only for the find out my driver that’s supposed to be delivering it is lost in a whole different area of my county at the moment. Something about the road being worked on there. Then I had another ungrateful person come knocking on my door. Talking about they are owed money. Money that they aren’t owed.

I am so fucking tired of having ungrateful people around me. I am feeling like I am going to go off on someone soon. Its ways too much going on. People keep saying to me, that I am hiding. That I need to get more friends. I need to be more open. Go out more. Yet, without even going out, I am still dealing with bullshit. Why on earth would I want to add more friends to stab me in the back, bring there problems and drama to my world. I am so done dealing with that. So I am about to end this situation with this person that wants to bring troubled waters to my world and end things.

Moral of this story is to stop trying to help people that don’t want to be helped. Someone people that fail, and are down and out is because of troubles they brought upon themselves. 9 times out of 10 if they are not having people jumping up and helping them, its because they have already burned bridges. Did people wrong. Owe people and have no plans at all to pay it back.